Here's a look at what's happening in Al's neck... and back

Roker is ailing, but forecast calls for relief ahead http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/341914p-291954c.html
Where in the world is Al Roker?

The "Today" show's star weatherman has been in sick bay this week during the havoc of Hurricane Katrina - arguably the biggest meteorological story of the past five years - and hasn't been on the air for nearly two weeks.

The 51-year-old Roker has had health problems in the past, including obesity, for which he underwent gastric bypass surgery. So some of his fans - including me - have been a tad worried about him.

"Al is still under the weather," "Today" co-host Matt Lauer acknowledged on the air Monday. "He's been fighting it for the last several days. And, you know, he's got to be champing at the bit."

Yesterday, superflack Howard Rubenstein, Roker's personal publicist, cleared up the mystery of what "it" is.
"He goes in [today] for minor back surgery for a ruptured disk," Rubenstein told me - notwithstanding that back surgery doesn't sound particularly "minor" to me.

"He expects to be back within a week or so," said Rubenstein. "He told me he had his hurricane go-bag all packed and ready to go, but he couldn't lift it."

"Today" executive producer Jim Bell added: "It's painful. ... But we expect him to be back on Monday the 12th" of September.

In the meantime, Roker has been watching from home with a jaundiced eye.
"He called in. He was checking in," substitute weather guy Chris Cimino said on the air.
"Making sure you're on the straight and narrow?" Lauer asked.
"C-plus so far, he says," Cimino revealed.

NY Times/Today Show?

We know the 8:00 hour isn't exactly where to get hard news, but we usually enjoy the fluff -- especially when it's creative: TODAY throws a wedding, LIVE for TODAY, FedExFurniture Boy, etc...

Today we felt like we were watching a re-run.

Back-to-back segments this morning were pulled straight from the pages of The New York Times and since we happen to read the newspaper, we felt like we could have put those pieces together.

First there was a panel on the non-lesbian "girl crush" which was investigated in the Grey Lady on 8/11/05:
She's So Cool, So Smart, So Beautiful: Must Be A Girl Crush
After having sat through the entire conversation without a peep from Matt, he finally piped up to say: "and this was in The New York Times!" Yes, Matt -- we know. We read the paper too.

That was followed by a report by Alexis Glick on The GAP's new store targeting women over the age of 35. Forth & Towne was covered in yesterday's NYT:
Gap's New Chain Store Aims at the Fashionably Mature Woman
(BTW, what was Alexis wearing?! A hot-pink cotton jersey? I mean -- we know you're reporting from The GAP but that doesn't give you allowance to wear their clothes...)

Of course, following up on the interesting stories covered by your counterparts in print is part of the news-making process -- but if this continues, why would we continue to watch?

From our heart of hearts...

Believe me when I say that I am leaning into my computer monitor as I type these words.

We at IHAC would like to extend our deepest, most profoundly heartfelt and sincere condolences to our fellow Today show viewers who had the misfortune of witnessing AC butcher American Geography 101 at the 7 o'clock hour this morning. Thanks to gawker.com for highlighting Ms. Curry's mistake.

And to you, sweet reader, we sincerely offer our deepest prayers and emotionally-debilitating empathy to those who had to witness this tragedy. We, I am happy to report, were still asleep at 7am.

It's Official: Hottie To Join America's First Family

Menounos joins 'Access Hollywood,' 'Today'
August 23, 2005
link

NEW YORK --Maria Menounos is leaving "Entertainment Tonight" to join NBC Universal's "Access Hollywood" and NBC News' "Today" show this fall.

Menounos, 27, will be a special correspondent for "Access Hollywood," which begins its 10th season in national syndication on Sept. 5. She also will be a West Coast contributor for "Today," it was announced Tuesday.

"To be working at such a cutting-edge show like `Access' and have the opportunity to be a part of the No. 1 morning news program on television is so exciting," she said in a statement.

Menounos reported on film, television, music and fashion for "Entertainment Tonight," and had been an international correspondent for "Channel One News," a source of news for teen students.

She has appeared on the WB's "One Tree Hill" and had a role in this summer's sci-fi action film "Fantastic Four."

Campbell Morales wonders: "Should I change my name to Campbell Menounos?"

The Tenor Of Curry

Oozing with faux-sincerity, it was difficult to keep watching AC this morning as she interviewed the parents of a shaken baby. Her very Clintonesque "I-feel-your-pain" style (without the smooth of The Natural) almost made us throw-up the breakfast bar we just ate.

It' s all too much for us to take:

the furrowed brow,

hand on the chin,

leaning so far forward in her chair she nearly fell out,

speaking about 2 octaves lower than usual,

calling the baby "sweet Jane".

At the end of the interview, she reached out -- ever so slowly -- and touched the baby's father on his knee . (If we were that baby's daddy we would have slapped her hand away so fast she wouldn't have known what hit her.)

After that catastrophe, AC forgot to switch from heartfelt-mode to happy-mode and entered a minute-long soliloquy about the tenor of Joss Stone's voice being reminiscent of Aretha Franklin (she said that last week too.)

Yes, we all hope and pray for sweet baby Jane's recovery BUT we're sorry, Ann: no amount of concern or compassion can make up for your journalistic incompetencies.

Remains of the day:

• Favorite segment -- the hot-pink-haired-guy who made all of his furniture out of FedEx shipping boxes. His motto is "It's OK to be ghetto" and ended his interview by jumping up and down on his FedExBed. Check him out here.

• If you think our blog is weird, you've got to check out these people. We're sure there will be more discussion of AC's hair later...
  

Campbell Morales... revealed!

We, Campbell Morales, finally charged up the batteries on our CoolPix, buffed our cheeks and snapped a glam shot of ourselves for our Blogger profile. Most of you already think we're hot, so check us out!

*Special thanks to Conan O'Brien for his inspiration*

Continuing the crash and burn...

Of Curry on the couch. This morning AC was in rare form marked by leading questions and awkward giddy behavior.

While questioning some expert-type on the results of an ADHD survey, AC said (not verbatim, but you get the point): “So, you studied kids with ADHD from 197? to today and found that the symptoms followed them into adulthood in terms of their time/money management and relationships. Is that correct?”

What kind of question is that? What is the guest left to do but agree and re-iterate what you just said. Why not say: “Tell me about your study.” And then: “What were the findings? “

ANN: Do you not realize that you just answered your own question? Do you think you are a prosecutor? Most interviewers use their questions to dig deeper. Not you. You deliver the substance yourself and then ask, with a lilting of your voice: “Is that correct?” or “Right?” The lifting of your voice at the end of a sentence does not a question make.

While previewing a segment on the “When Harry Met Sally” dilemma, AC turned to Matt and said: “We’re friends. There’s no sexual tension here, is there?” Of course, Matt answered perfectly with a so-so shake of his hand and reminder that, “you did kiss me yesterday – hard to forget that!”

The “Can Men and Women Really Be Friends” piece was equally disastrous with AC cutting off her panel (of experts? Not sure what qualifies Bob the Bachelor to comment…) to let everybody know what she thinks about her relationships with men and women

On a positive-non-AC-related note, we enjoyed seeing Natalie escape from behind the news desk to report on the L’Occitane Lavender Festival in the plaza. Let's see more of her legs.

IHAC Press Clip

We were featured today as the lead quote in the Blog Log of "Express" -- DC's commuter tabloid.It warms our hearts to know that our words lined the aisles of the DC Metro and filled public trash cans today.

When the Katie's Away...

Unfortunately, Ann Curry will host. The only consolation is that Natalie Morales is at the news desk... and looking as stylin' as ever in a turquoise blue blazer. We definitely approve.

Al is out, Willard is in. We're not sure which jester we prefer.

AC seems a bit imbalanced this morning... going from super-(in)sincere during the segment on what to do if your spouse cheats on you to randomly running across the plaza to give Willard a kiss. And she smooches on Matt too! What's up with that?

Also: let's be honest -- who really cares what the groom wears to the wedding?

But, if we have to choose -- here's our pick:

Vote for your fave here

Special Report: DG on MTP

David Gregory's guest host gig on Meet The Press this Sunday was fairly ho-hum. We re-lived the racist ramblings of Trent Lott and his sob-story of betrayal by Bill Frist. It was nice to see DG bear his teeth a little. Sadly, no new dance moves...

The DG Danceathon Continues

Our beloved David Gregory took some ribbing from Don Imus this morning for shaking his groove thang (multiple times) during his stint as host of the TODAY show...

Imus and Wonkette want him to stop this behavior... something about his journalistic crediblity, blah, blah.

We at IHAC appreciate that DG is just as serious about his dancing as he is about the news.

Video of DG & Al Roker doing ring-around-the-rosie starts at about :48 and continues mercilessly for the next 2 minutes

Here are la wonka's thoughts

And he's hosting Meet The Press this week! We'd like to see him do the Electric Slide with Trent Lott...

TODAY Previews...

Joss Stone will be performing live on the plaza next week.

Burning question: will she wear white jeans?

Also, TODAY announced their search for "suburban correspondents"

The search for a suburban correspondent

Is this an attempt to piggy back on the success of ABC's Desperate Housewives?

Sarah the Bridezilla?

"To be honest, I don't really like any of the dresses you picked. I would have picked 4 completely different dresses." Something about the dresses not being "sparkly" enough (does she realize that she's getting married at a beach club in MD -- not at the Ritz?) Sounds a bit ungrateful from someone who is having NBC pick up the entire tab on her nuptials...

The bridesmaids' comments were even harsher... "The twisted-up blueberry... I'd rather come out naked than wear that dress." Not sure if the sensors would be down with that.

We give a nod to the eventual pick, dress #3 by Lazaro. At least it wasn't the cabaret-style dress #2 (which we were surprised to hear was Katie's favorite)

It got us thinking about the many years we've been watching the "TODAY throws a [fill in the blank] wedding"...

We think the producers may be running out of good ideas, so here are some of our suggestions:

TODAY Throws a White Trash Wedding

TODAY Throws a Shotgun Wedding

TODAY Throws a Same-Sex Wedding (in Boston, of course)

TODAY Throws a Polygamist Wedding

TODAY Throws a May-December Wedding

TODAY Throws Another Wedding For Elizabeth Taylor/Larry King/etc.

Add your suggestions, if you got 'em.

Thanks to the how-to-be-a-cheapskate segment, we're off to The Gap now to try on a pair of jeans and get a free itunes voucher...

Bad News Day for AC

We've been remiss in posting this story... but ever since Page Six went to subscription, we've been reluctant to give them a fake email address so that they'll let us read their trash. Today it was definitely worth it:

Page Six
'TODAY' TURMOIL INSIDE & OUT
18 August 2005
New York Post

IS "Today" show news anchor Ann Curry the neighbor from hell?
Lynne Lummel, who lives next door to Curry's West 71st Street brownstone, has gone to court to halt "unsafe and harmful demolition and construction practices" during the renovation of the NBC newsreader's posh pad.

In a statement to PAGE SIX, Lummel says she and her family "have lived for 16 months in a dangerous and toxic home environment caused by the construction at the home of Curry and her husband."

Lummel claims her family has "experienced an inexcusable number of life-threatening accidents," including bricks and debris falling through their skylight, illegal entry into their home by Curry's workers, the collapses of a four-story scaffold and a retaining wall, "heavy soot, dust and diesel fumes restricting their breathing," and "noise from nine months of multiple jackhammers far in excess of city codes."

Lummel adds that "multiple complaints" from Curry's neighbors have been filed with the city Department of Buildings and Department of Environmental Protection.

"We feel we are dealing with inconsiderate and irresponsible people with a lot of money who believe their power and importance outweighs the well-being of those around them," Lummel fumed.

"I hope the court will examine the evidence and see that Curry and her husband have put all of the neighbors in danger, and until we approve Curry's construction and safety plans, access to our property should be denied. It's a miracle no one has been hurt or killed in the many accidents that have occurred."

Meanwhile, an insider tattles that former "Entertainment Tonight" eye candy Maria Menounos is joining "Today" in a bid to "make it more hip and help attract a younger audience that may not relate to Katie [Couric]."

Menounos - who was dropped by "E.T." earlier this year for sexy MTV veejay and Derek Jeter squeeze Vanessa Minnillo - is also there to help with "the Alexis Glick situation" on the show.

"Today" correspondent Glick, once hailed as a possible Couric successor, is said to be "very unpopular with staffers and audiences aren't bonding." As part of her contract, Menounos will also appear on "Access Hollywood," our insider said.

A "Today" show spokeswoman declined to comment on Curry's construction job and the Menounos and Glick situations.

P.S. If any TODAY show insiders would like to drop some juicy gossip about the lovely Ms. Menounos or about how much they hate Alexis Glick, our email address is campbellmorales@gmail.com

Falling in love... with DG

I love David Gregory.

Picture it: teeny-bopper Hillary Duff is singing (lip-syncing?) her latest "hit" for the middle-school crowd... camera shots of little girls singing along (ah, it almost makes me re-live my NKOTB days)... then the camera switches to a shot of DG...

and he's swaying, eyes-closed, hands in the air (somebody please get this man a lighter) -- just like every other 13 y.o. girl in the crowd.

Next time we see him, he's trying to get Katie to dance with him to this crappy excuse for music.

Who would have thought a WH correspondent could be so fun-loving?

Matt, get home safe from Baghdad -- but if you need to take any more time off, DG beats the pants off of everyone else.

Also: LaDuff, what's up with the corn-row ponytail? Please...

UPDATE:
Thanks to Wonkette for finding the must-see video here

The incriminating evidence starts at about 1:48 and DG gets jiggy with Katie at 4:05

Breaking News : Call Him "Diddy"

It's been a while, but this morning's show was just begging to be blogged.

First, Matt & AC were out and filling in for them were Natalie Morales (love her, even though she sometimes has some beginner's stumbles) and NBC White House correspondent David Gregory (who definitely has some sexual tension with Katie.)

Some interesting stories today... feature of 13 women who "time-share" a strand of diamonds and how that made them all sweet, sappy friends (blah blah -- they should learn that you can't just throw on a $37K necklace with your house clothes) and a riotous interview with the woman who lost weight by eating McDonald's exclusively (the anti- "SuperSize Me".)

But the biggest story of the day is most definitely the surprise appearance of Sean "P. Diddy "Combs" to announce to the world that we can all just drop the 'P' and call him "Diddy." The best part was when his name on the screen immediately changed from "Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs" to "Sean 'Diddy' Combs"

Diddy it is then. Doo wah DIDDY, DIDDY dum DIDDY do...

LIVEBlogging on a Monday AM

What a way to start the week!

8:05: Following segment about the President's exceptional health by White House News Correspondent David Gregory, AC throws in her two cents: "I think he's a good example for all of us."

8:06: After reporting that Wedding Crashers was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend, AC feels the need to add, "my kids loved the movie so much they want to see it twice" (in reference to some kiddie movie.)

ANN: Nobody wants to hear your editorializing. We don't care about your opinions. If you ever feel the need to start a sentence with "I think..." or "my kids...", bite your tongue. We don't care. Just sit there, look pretty and report the news... is that too hard for you?

Here's hoping that the ceremony/reception site choices for TODAY Throws a Hometown Wedding will recover for the classic AC errors, and yes, make me late for work...