Donny Sicko

We at IHAC hope that nobody buys Donny Deutsch's revolting books or watches his sick TV show. In fact, we are convinced that Donny Deutsch is actually that shyster Kevin Trudeau (Natural Cures) in slick black pants and an untucked shirt. Thank you, Matt Lauer, for taking Donny to task for admitting that he spends his days in his back room fantasizing about himself as an alpha male and all of the women in the world as his potential conquests. Is it any wonder that Donny's ad agency has a majority-female board? Of course not. Little Donny boy needs more material for is perverse fantasies. (Open mouth. Insert finger. Gag.) Somebody please tell Fred Armisen on SNL to spoof this sicko.

Billie Joe Miers

Since we're not getting any news on our morning TV we've decided break this story ourselves: Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong is Harriet Miers' son! How else can you explain this?!!!