I Hate Ann Curry

... is that your final answer?

2006-04-06T16:15:00.001-04:00

NBC? Are you sure you want to pick D... Meredith Vieira?

Don't you want to poll the audience or call a friend or something?

Aren't you worried that she's too matriarchal for your morning show? Don't you see that she's a crow's foot away from Diane Sawyer? If we wanted to watch an over-manicured socialite glad-handing her guests, we'd watch Good Morning America?

But we don't. We want fun, adventurous, fiesty repartee to wake us up every morning. We want good-natured ribbing and mild sexual tension. We want the cool mom, not the good mom.

THE END OF AN ERA

2006-04-05T07:45:00.000-04:00

We heard the rumors, we read the reports, but it didn't hit home until this morning when we heard it straight from you.

Oh dear Katie, how will we ever wake up without you? You've been our morning sunshine since middle school (when we first started to be responsible for getting ourselves out of bed.) Without you, we're not sure we would have woken up day after day. Mornings will never be the same.

Our Today Show Family will never be the same. It feels like my morning parents are getting a divorce. Mom has met someone better. Dad is going to start dating someone new and younger. Court ordered visits will require me to switch to CBS in the evenings -- but I've never been to that side of town! There will be much adjustment, but Katie, you will always be a part of our family.

We've been gone for a while but we couldn't let this monumental occasion pass without comment. And now the race to replace the Matriarch of the Morning begins... you can see Ann seething for attention (she is already talking over Katie -- immediately following Katie's announcement during their couch chit chat), and of course the lobbying effort for our namesakes, Campbell Brown and Natalie Morales is in full force.

Who do you want to see Matt bring home next?

Donny Sicko

2005-10-14T12:26:00.000-04:00

We at IHAC hope that nobody buys Donny Deutsch's revolting books or watches his sick TV show. In fact, we are convinced that Donny Deutsch is actually that shyster Kevin Trudeau (Natural Cures) in slick black pants and an untucked shirt. Thank you, Matt Lauer, for taking Donny to task for admitting that he spends his days in his back room fantasizing about himself as an alpha male and all of the women in the world as his potential conquests. Is it any wonder that Donny's ad agency has a majority-female board? Of course not. Little Donny boy needs more material for is perverse fantasies. (Open mouth. Insert finger. Gag.) Somebody please tell Fred Armisen on SNL to spoof this sicko.

Billie Joe Miers

2005-10-04T11:50:00.000-04:00

Since we're not getting any news on our morning TV we've decided break this story ourselves: Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong is Harriet Miers' son! How else can you explain this?!!!

News, please

2005-09-27T10:20:00.000-04:00

Initially, we at IHAC were ambivalent about TV news’ focus on community service as news. Now, we’re getting nervous. We have Bush radically changing his energy policy to focus on conservation (conservation!) (link), Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist conducting insider trading from his blind trust (link), bionic Dick Cheney steering the ship while jacked up in traction (link), Michael Brown defending FEMA's ignorance (link) and 2 recently-vacated Supreme Court seats. Can we get some coverage, please?

Plus, all that hammering in the morning is giving me a headache.

Campbell Couric?

2005-09-19T16:38:00.000-04:00

We know you're still queasy from the sight of Larry King so early in the morning -- with his 10th(?) wife who we're convinced is actually his daughter -- but in other TV-journalist news, our namesake's name is back in the ring to be our next leading lady:

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/politics/whispers/articles/050926/26whisplead.htm

A Different Path for Hurricane Campbell

It's probably the most important story about the media's coverage of Hurricane Katrina that you didn ' t read: Today, Weekend Edition coanchor Campbell Brown 's gutsy and heartfelt reports cemented her position as NBC's top choice to replace the Today show's Katie Couric. "Campbell's stock has really surged," says a key network insider. While network suits hope Couric will stay with NBC next year, she is considered a leading candidate for the nightly news anchor jobs at ABC and CBS.

How Brown vaulted to the front of the pack is an unusual industry story, fully on display during Katrina. Long urged to "girlie up" her image, as her competitors have, Brown has chosen instead to report from places like Baghdad and New Orleans. "It's very hard," she says, "to take comments like that seriously when you're standing in the aftermath of a hurricane and you haven't showered for three days." Brown's not just a news junkie but also a hurricane hound: Last year's Ivan leveled her parents' Florida home. Even before Katrina hit, she flew south, lived out of a car, and ate PowerBars and SpaghettiOs. Her big score was finding 9-year-old Charles Evans, who guided her around the ghastly convention center. "I was in tears," she says. Ironically, it was her undolled-up looks and go-get-'em attitude that jazzed NBC insiders. Groupies loved the T-shirts and wrinkled shorts, too. "What," she joshes, "you had a problem with that?"

She's in Love with the Boy...

2005-09-16T08:54:00.000-04:00

... And now she's married to him! As with every other Today-Throws-A-Wedding couple of the past few years, we followed their wedding-planning frenzy each week, voted on the dress, the cake, the location, the honeymoon... and finally, watched with tears in our eyes as they exchanged their vows today. (Does anybody know if they got married at the same place in MD where Wedding Crashers was filmed?)

We sighed with relief that Trisha Yearwood's first song was not the song that some days, seemed to be eternally stuck in our head: "she's in love with the boy". At the IHAC household, we're not big country music fans but even we can appreciate the beauty of "How Do I Live" at a wedding.

Things we know about Trisha Yearwood:
1) Married to Garth Brooks, or is it Chris Gaines? (We think Gaines was hotter)

slightly hot: definitely not:

2) There used to be a whole lot less of Trisha Yearwood -- NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THERE BEING SO MUCH MORE OF HER NOW, but given how used we are to only seeing stick-figures on TV, you have to admit that seeing someone who isn't a size -2 (and who used to be considerably thinner) will make you do a double-take. Perhaps we should praise her for challenging society's notions of what a woman should like like (a la the Dove "Real Curves" campaign) but we're not so sure about that either.

before: now:

*If the size increase is a result of some kind of medical condition, we apologize in advance for being so insensitive.

3) She has a very beautiful voice (clearly I'm trying to make-up with all the folks who might get all riled up by point #2)

Speaking of skinny people, we believe we caught Maria Menounos making her premier appearance today with a preview of this weekend's Emmys. Her title was "West Coast Correspondent" which sounds like she'll be in charge of covering all the "news" from Hollywood.

Where we've been: yes, we know AC has been out of control lately...did anybody see her riding a bike around the plaza yesterday? Could somebody PLEASE chain her to the news desk? It seems everytime they let her out of her cage she goes a little crazy.

With all of the KATRINA domination of the news, we thought it might be a bit crass to poke fun at AC. She did do some ~okay~ reporting from New Orleans (although the PETA folks are pissed off that she let a dog drown instead of picking him up on her boat), but barring another catastrophe of weather and FEMA, we'll try to post more frequently...

Until then...

Here's a look at what's happening in Al's neck... and back

2005-08-31T14:22:00.000-04:00

Roker is ailing, but forecast calls for relief ahead http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/341914p-291954c.html
Where in the world is Al Roker?

The "Today" show's star weatherman has been in sick bay this week during the havoc of Hurricane Katrina - arguably the biggest meteorological story of the past five years - and hasn't been on the air for nearly two weeks.

The 51-year-old Roker has had health problems in the past, including obesity, for which he underwent gastric bypass surgery. So some of his fans - including me - have been a tad worried about him.

"Al is still under the weather," "Today" co-host Matt Lauer acknowledged on the air Monday. "He's been fighting it for the last several days. And, you know, he's got to be champing at the bit."

Yesterday, superflack Howard Rubenstein, Roker's personal publicist, cleared up the mystery of what "it" is.
"He goes in [today] for minor back surgery for a ruptured disk," Rubenstein told me - notwithstanding that back surgery doesn't sound particularly "minor" to me.

"He expects to be back within a week or so," said Rubenstein. "He told me he had his hurricane go-bag all packed and ready to go, but he couldn't lift it."

"Today" executive producer Jim Bell added: "It's painful. ... But we expect him to be back on Monday the 12th" of September.

In the meantime, Roker has been watching from home with a jaundiced eye.
"He called in. He was checking in," substitute weather guy Chris Cimino said on the air.
"Making sure you're on the straight and narrow?" Lauer asked.
"C-plus so far, he says," Cimino revealed.

NY Times/Today Show?

2005-08-25T08:20:00.000-04:00

We know the 8:00 hour isn't exactly where to get hard news, but we usually enjoy the fluff -- especially when it's creative: TODAY throws a wedding, LIVE for TODAY, FedExFurniture Boy, etc...

Today we felt like we were watching a re-run.

Back-to-back segments this morning were pulled straight from the pages of The New York Times and since we happen to read the newspaper, we felt like we could have put those pieces together.

First there was a panel on the non-lesbian "girl crush" which was investigated in the Grey Lady on 8/11/05:
She's So Cool, So Smart, So Beautiful: Must Be A Girl Crush
After having sat through the entire conversation without a peep from Matt, he finally piped up to say: "and this was in The New York Times!" Yes, Matt -- we know. We read the paper too.

That was followed by a report by Alexis Glick on The GAP's new store targeting women over the age of 35. Forth & Towne was covered in yesterday's NYT:
Gap's New Chain Store Aims at the Fashionably Mature Woman
(BTW, what was Alexis wearing?! A hot-pink cotton jersey? I mean -- we know you're reporting from The GAP but that doesn't give you allowance to wear their clothes...)

Of course, following up on the interesting stories covered by your counterparts in print is part of the news-making process -- but if this continues, why would we continue to watch?

From our heart of hearts...

2005-08-24T14:31:00.000-04:00

Believe me when I say that I am leaning into my computer monitor as I type these words.

We at IHAC would like to extend our deepest, most profoundly heartfelt and sincere condolences to our fellow Today show viewers who had the misfortune of witnessing AC butcher American Geography 101 at the 7 o'clock hour this morning. Thanks to gawker.com for highlighting Ms. Curry's mistake.

And to you, sweet reader, we sincerely offer our deepest prayers and emotionally-debilitating empathy to those who had to witness this tragedy. We, I am happy to report, were still asleep at 7am.

It's Official: Hottie To Join America's First Family

2005-08-24T10:30:00.000-04:00

Menounos joins 'Access Hollywood,' 'Today'
August 23, 2005
link

NEW YORK --Maria Menounos is leaving "Entertainment Tonight" to join NBC Universal's "Access Hollywood" and NBC News' "Today" show this fall.

Menounos, 27, will be a special correspondent for "Access Hollywood," which begins its 10th season in national syndication on Sept. 5. She also will be a West Coast contributor for "Today," it was announced Tuesday.

"To be working at such a cutting-edge show like `Access' and have the opportunity to be a part of the No. 1 morning news program on television is so exciting," she said in a statement.

Menounos reported on film, television, music and fashion for "Entertainment Tonight," and had been an international correspondent for "Channel One News," a source of news for teen students.

She has appeared on the WB's "One Tree Hill" and had a role in this summer's sci-fi action film "Fantastic Four."

Campbell Morales wonders: "Should I change my name to Campbell Menounos?"

The Tenor Of Curry

2005-08-24T08:39:00.000-04:00

Oozing with faux-sincerity, it was difficult to keep watching AC this morning as she interviewed the parents of a shaken baby. Her very Clintonesque "I-feel-your-pain" style (without the smooth of The Natural) almost made us throw-up the breakfast bar we just ate.

It' s all too much for us to take:

the furrowed brow,

hand on the chin,

leaning so far forward in her chair she nearly fell out,

speaking about 2 octaves lower than usual,

calling the baby "sweet Jane".

At the end of the interview, she reached out -- ever so slowly -- and touched the baby's father on his knee . (If we were that baby's daddy we would have slapped her hand away so fast she wouldn't have known what hit her.)

After that catastrophe, AC forgot to switch from heartfelt-mode to happy-mode and entered a minute-long soliloquy about the tenor of Joss Stone's voice being reminiscent of Aretha Franklin (she said that last week too.)

Yes, we all hope and pray for sweet baby Jane's recovery BUT we're sorry, Ann: no amount of concern or compassion can make up for your journalistic incompetencies.

Remains of the day:

Favorite segment -- the hot-pink-haired-guy who made all of his furniture out of FedEx shipping boxes. His motto is "It's OK to be ghetto" and ended his interview by jumping up and down on his FedExBed. Check him out here.

If you think our blog is weird, you've got to check out these people. We're sure there will be more discussion of AC's hair later...

Campbell Morales... revealed!

2005-08-23T09:00:00.000-04:00

We, Campbell Morales, finally charged up the batteries on our CoolPix, buffed our cheeks and snapped a glam shot of ourselves for our Blogger profile. Most of you already think we're hot, so check us out!

*Special thanks to Conan O'Brien for his inspiration*

Continuing the crash and burn...

2005-08-23T08:53:00.000-04:00

Of Curry on the couch. This morning AC was in rare form marked by leading questions and awkward giddy behavior.

While questioning some expert-type on the results of an ADHD survey, AC said (not verbatim, but you get the point): “So, you studied kids with ADHD from 197? to today and found that the symptoms followed them into adulthood in terms of their time/money management and relationships. Is that correct?”

What kind of question is that? What is the guest left to do but agree and re-iterate what you just said. Why not say: “Tell me about your study.” And then: “What were the findings? “

ANN: Do you not realize that you just answered your own question? Do you think you are a prosecutor? Most interviewers use their questions to dig deeper. Not you. You deliver the substance yourself and then ask, with a lilting of your voice: “Is that correct?” or “Right?” The lifting of your voice at the end of a sentence does not a question make.

While previewing a segment on the “When Harry Met Sally” dilemma, AC turned to Matt and said: “We’re friends. There’s no sexual tension here, is there?” Of course, Matt answered perfectly with a so-so shake of his hand and reminder that, “you did kiss me yesterday – hard to forget that!”

The “Can Men and Women Really Be Friends” piece was equally disastrous with AC cutting off her panel (of experts? Not sure what qualifies Bob the Bachelor to comment…) to let everybody know what she thinks about her relationships with men and women

On a positive-non-AC-related note, we enjoyed seeing Natalie escape from behind the news desk to report on the L’Occitane Lavender Festival in the plaza. Let's see more of her legs.

IHAC Press Clip

2005-08-22T21:36:00.000-04:00

We were featured today as the lead quote in the Blog Log of "Express" -- DC's commuter tabloid.It warms our hearts to know that our words lined the aisles of the DC Metro and filled public trash cans today.

When the Katie's Away...

2005-08-22T08:03:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately, Ann Curry will host. The only consolation is that Natalie Morales is at the news desk... and looking as stylin' as ever in a turquoise blue blazer. We definitely approve.

Al is out, Willard is in. We're not sure which jester we prefer.

AC seems a bit imbalanced this morning... going from super-(in)sincere during the segment on what to do if your spouse cheats on you to randomly running across the plaza to give Willard a kiss. And she smooches on Matt too! What's up with that?

Also: let's be honest -- who really cares what the groom wears to the wedding?

But, if we have to choose -- here's our pick:

Vote for your fave here

Special Report: DG on MTP

2005-08-21T22:45:00.000-04:00

David Gregory's guest host gig on Meet The Press this Sunday was fairly ho-hum. We re-lived the racist ramblings of Trent Lott and his sob-story of betrayal by Bill Frist. It was nice to see DG bear his teeth a little. Sadly, no new dance moves...

The DG Danceathon Continues

2005-08-19T13:13:00.000-04:00

Our beloved David Gregory took some ribbing from Don Imus this morning for shaking his groove thang (multiple times) during his stint as host of the TODAY show...

Imus and Wonkette want him to stop this behavior... something about his journalistic crediblity, blah, blah.

We at IHAC appreciate that DG is just as serious about his dancing as he is about the news.

Video of DG & Al Roker doing ring-around-the-rosie starts at about :48 and continues mercilessly for the next 2 minutes

Here are la wonka's thoughts

And he's hosting Meet The Press this week! We'd like to see him do the Electric Slide with Trent Lott...

TODAY Previews...

2005-08-19T10:48:00.000-04:00

Joss Stone will be performing live on the plaza next week.

Burning question: will she wear white jeans?

Also, TODAY announced their search for "suburban correspondents"

The search for a suburban correspondent

Is this an attempt to piggy back on the success of ABC's Desperate Housewives?

Sarah the Bridezilla?

2005-08-19T08:15:00.000-04:00

"To be honest, I don't really like any of the dresses you picked. I would have picked 4 completely different dresses." Something about the dresses not being "sparkly" enough (does she realize that she's getting married at a beach club in MD -- not at the Ritz?) Sounds a bit ungrateful from someone who is having NBC pick up the entire tab on her nuptials...

The bridesmaids' comments were even harsher... "The twisted-up blueberry... I'd rather come out naked than wear that dress." Not sure if the sensors would be down with that.

We give a nod to the eventual pick, dress #3 by Lazaro. At least it wasn't the cabaret-style dress #2 (which we were surprised to hear was Katie's favorite)

It got us thinking about the many years we've been watching the "TODAY throws a [fill in the blank] wedding"...

We think the producers may be running out of good ideas, so here are some of our suggestions:

TODAY Throws a White Trash Wedding

TODAY Throws a Shotgun Wedding

TODAY Throws a Same-Sex Wedding (in Boston, of course)

TODAY Throws a Polygamist Wedding

TODAY Throws a May-December Wedding

TODAY Throws Another Wedding For Elizabeth Taylor/Larry King/etc.

Add your suggestions, if you got 'em.

Thanks to the how-to-be-a-cheapskate segment, we're off to The Gap now to try on a pair of jeans and get a free itunes voucher...

Bad News Day for AC

2005-08-18T23:24:00.000-04:00

We've been remiss in posting this story... but ever since Page Six went to subscription, we've been reluctant to give them a fake email address so that they'll let us read their trash. Today it was definitely worth it:

Page Six
'TODAY' TURMOIL INSIDE & OUT
18 August 2005
New York Post

IS "Today" show news anchor Ann Curry the neighbor from hell?
Lynne Lummel, who lives next door to Curry's West 71st Street brownstone, has gone to court to halt "unsafe and harmful demolition and construction practices" during the renovation of the NBC newsreader's posh pad.

In a statement to PAGE SIX, Lummel says she and her family "have lived for 16 months in a dangerous and toxic home environment caused by the construction at the home of Curry and her husband."

Lummel claims her family has "experienced an inexcusable number of life-threatening accidents," including bricks and debris falling through their skylight, illegal entry into their home by Curry's workers, the collapses of a four-story scaffold and a retaining wall, "heavy soot, dust and diesel fumes restricting their breathing," and "noise from nine months of multiple jackhammers far in excess of city codes."

Lummel adds that "multiple complaints" from Curry's neighbors have been filed with the city Department of Buildings and Department of Environmental Protection.

"We feel we are dealing with inconsiderate and irresponsible people with a lot of money who believe their power and importance outweighs the well-being of those around them," Lummel fumed.

"I hope the court will examine the evidence and see that Curry and her husband have put all of the neighbors in danger, and until we approve Curry's construction and safety plans, access to our property should be denied. It's a miracle no one has been hurt or killed in the many accidents that have occurred."

Meanwhile, an insider tattles that former "Entertainment Tonight" eye candy Maria Menounos is joining "Today" in a bid to "make it more hip and help attract a younger audience that may not relate to Katie [Couric]."

Menounos - who was dropped by "E.T." earlier this year for sexy MTV veejay and Derek Jeter squeeze Vanessa Minnillo - is also there to help with "the Alexis Glick situation" on the show.

"Today" correspondent Glick, once hailed as a possible Couric successor, is said to be "very unpopular with staffers and audiences aren't bonding." As part of her contract, Menounos will also appear on "Access Hollywood," our insider said.

A "Today" show spokeswoman declined to comment on Curry's construction job and the Menounos and Glick situations.

P.S. If any TODAY show insiders would like to drop some juicy gossip about the lovely Ms. Menounos or about how much they hate Alexis Glick, our email address is campbellmorales@gmail.com

Falling in love... with DG

2005-08-18T08:46:00.000-04:00

I love David Gregory.

Picture it: teeny-bopper Hillary Duff is singing (lip-syncing?) her latest "hit" for the middle-school crowd... camera shots of little girls singing along (ah, it almost makes me re-live my NKOTB days)... then the camera switches to a shot of DG...

and he's swaying, eyes-closed, hands in the air (somebody please get this man a lighter) -- just like every other 13 y.o. girl in the crowd.

Next time we see him, he's trying to get Katie to dance with him to this crappy excuse for music.

Who would have thought a WH correspondent could be so fun-loving?

Matt, get home safe from Baghdad -- but if you need to take any more time off, DG beats the pants off of everyone else.

Also: LaDuff, what's up with the corn-row ponytail? Please...

UPDATE:
Thanks to Wonkette for finding the must-see video here

The incriminating evidence starts at about 1:48 and DG gets jiggy with Katie at 4:05

Breaking News : Call Him "Diddy"

2005-08-16T08:54:00.000-04:00

It's been a while, but this morning's show was just begging to be blogged.

First, Matt & AC were out and filling in for them were Natalie Morales (love her, even though she sometimes has some beginner's stumbles) and NBC White House correspondent David Gregory (who definitely has some sexual tension with Katie.)

Some interesting stories today... feature of 13 women who "time-share" a strand of diamonds and how that made them all sweet, sappy friends (blah blah -- they should learn that you can't just throw on a $37K necklace with your house clothes) and a riotous interview with the woman who lost weight by eating McDonald's exclusively (the anti- "SuperSize Me".)

But the biggest story of the day is most definitely the surprise appearance of Sean "P. Diddy "Combs" to announce to the world that we can all just drop the 'P' and call him "Diddy." The best part was when his name on the screen immediately changed from "Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs" to "Sean 'Diddy' Combs"

Diddy it is then. Doo wah DIDDY, DIDDY dum DIDDY do...

LIVEBlogging on a Monday AM

2005-08-01T08:07:00.000-04:00

What a way to start the week!

8:05: Following segment about the President's exceptional health by White House News Correspondent David Gregory, AC throws in her two cents: "I think he's a good example for all of us."

8:06: After reporting that Wedding Crashers was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend, AC feels the need to add, "my kids loved the movie so much they want to see it twice" (in reference to some kiddie movie.)

ANN: Nobody wants to hear your editorializing. We don't care about your opinions. If you ever feel the need to start a sentence with "I think..." or "my kids...", bite your tongue. We don't care. Just sit there, look pretty and report the news... is that too hard for you?

Here's hoping that the ceremony/reception site choices for TODAY Throws a Hometown Wedding will recover for the classic AC errors, and yes, make me late for work...

Ann Curry is NOT Bootylicious

2005-07-29T08:57:00.000-04:00

Watching the end of the Destiny's Child set for Today's Summer Concert Series and reflecting on how little we've seen Ann Curry today. As a result, it's been a much more pleasant morning - i.e. not spent yelling at the television in frustration over something stupid AC said or did.

No major screw-ups... but maybe that's because we only caught the top of the 8:00 news hour. (We've got to try to get up for the 7:00 AM... but no promises, we like our sleep.)

It seems we're not the only ones who think the presence of AC should be kept to a minimum. (Although we'd prefer not to see her at all.) We've noticed that recently, when Katie is out, they've brought in Weekend Today's Campbell Brown and kept AC anchored to her news desk.

There's a reason for that. AC just isn't comfortable with the free-flow banter required of one of the lead positions. There is no "chemistry" between her and Matt or Al. It seems the best position for her (if any) is stuck behind the counter, reading the news from her teleprompter. There's not as much skill/personality in that role... and since AC doesn't seem to have much skill or much of a personality, we hope to never see her from the waist down again.

Other observations TODAY:

Clearly, Destiny's Child brokered a deal whereby they wouldn't perform unless their stylist and mother-of-the-group (actual mother of the real *star* Beyonce), Tina Knowles got some airtime. Yes, we know you're starting a clothesline.... blahdy blah blah blah. When can we hear "Bootylicious"? (Actually, this is really smart of DC & TK... after the group breaks up/separates/retires... it will be a lot harder to get media attention for the House of Dereon, so you'd better snatch it up now!)

One of the special segments we've loved throughout the years are the weddings thrown by the Today Show. We're following this wedding step-by-step and will be voting for our choice of rings, locations, attire, cake, etc. This morning we were excited that our pick for the rings was ultimately selected. Go Rings #2!